Today I wanted to talk a little about why I’m putting myself through this.

“This” meaning diving headfirst into the traditional publishing world: the one full of rejection and gatekeepers and so, so much waiting.

Realistically, I know I could self-publish. Hell, years ago, an extremely early iteration of my book was up on Amazon as an eBook. (Though that isn’t really saying much… literally anyone can do that. Anyone.)

It’s not even a problem of money or of the work it takes to self-publish. For me, it has and will always be about one thing: the distribution. I can’t get over the fact that I want to see my book on shelves.

The young adult section in Barnes and Noble or Borders (RIP) is kind of where I grew up. It’s such a part of me that I just can’t let it go. I will have made it if one day someone picks up my book on the shelf and decides to give it a chance, like I gave so many other stories.

Recently, I’ve been doing a lot more research into the publishing world thanks to Alexa Donne, a YA author and YouTuber. She goes into detail about what exactly happens, definitely not holding back when it comes to the depressing stuff.

But as sad and rejection filled as that world can be, it still doesn’t deter me from wanting my book to be traditionally published. Why?

I mean, who doesn’t want to see that little penguin on the spine of their book?

Check out Alexa’s video below about why she didn’t self-publish! (We have a lot of the same opinions.)